


Should I stay or should I go

by TingNa



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-12
Updated: 2020-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:54:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,845
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23119582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TingNa/pseuds/TingNa
Summary: “We have called you here because we have a favor to ask from you,” Matsumoto started. “Ohno san here and myself were supposed to go on a work trip to Hong Kong next week to finish sealing the accord our departments have been working on for the last month.""Unfortunately, there are some issues that require me here, so I won’t be able to go”. Ohno commented.“And that’s where you come in. Ohno san has recommended that you should come with me in his stead. He said you are more than capable of doing this job perfectly."
Relationships: Matsumoto Jun/Sakurai Sho
Comments: 10
Kudos: 37
Collections: Hi-ho! I'm your aibou!





	Should I stay or should I go

**Author's Note:**

  * For [astrangerenters](https://archiveofourown.org/users/astrangerenters/gifts).



> I really hope you enjoy this story!
> 
> I changed many things after beta reading so all the mistakes (for sure there are many) are all my fault.

Sho woke up to the sound of his phone alarm at exactly 6:30. He got up at 6:32, opened the curtains and window of his bedroom and entered the bathroom. At 6:40, he was already in the kitchen waiting for his coffee to be ready while he served some white rice in a bowl.

Sakurai Sho, aged 32, Keio University graduate and salaryman in a medium size company, lived a simple and methodical life regarding his routines. In regard to his apartment, it was a completely different thing. Sho sighed, looking at all the newspapers that covered most of his living room table and the pieces of clothing and empty cans of beer spread all over the place. It wasn’t as if he received many visits in the first place, more like none at all, so it was okay as long as he kept a good appearance outside of his door.

At exactly 7:28, he left his home and walked to the station. 7:35 read his watch, he had arrived 6 minutes before the train’s departing time. “Today is going to be a good day,” he thought with a smile plastered in his face. He had made it two minutes earlier than his usual time.

He arrived at the closest station to his office and waited in a corner. He looked at his watch with a tiny happy smile.

Exactly three minutes later a crowd of people appeared from the other side, marking the arrival of another train. Among them, him. Sho could differentiate him whenever and wherever, no matter the amount of people, he would be able to identify him. Just a little bit taller than Sho, perfectly styled hair, broad shoulders, slim waist, elegant… a perfect body, right out of a magazine. And don’t let Sho start talking about his face. Oh my gosh, his face! Those thick but perfectly defined eyebrows, those brown kind eyes, those long eyelashes, those tall and well-defined cheekbones, those perfect lips with their perfectly placed moles…

All of this he knew thanks to his first encounter with the man. That day he had gotten out of the train on a rush, holding his things with sweaty and shaky hands. He had an important presentation in 20 minutes and was nervous as fuck. He had only been working for that company for two months and didn’t want to give a bad impression. With all of that in his mind, he didn’t see the two little kids that came running from his side. By the time he was able to react, all his things were scattered on the floor.

As he was trying to gather everything, a hand appeared, picking up some of the papers for him. When Sho looked up to thank the hand's owner, his breath got caught on his throat. The most beautiful man he had ever seen was looking back at him with a friendly smile on his face. “I think this is yours,” the man said.

“Thank you,” Sho’s voice came out impossibly soft. He finished getting his things and walked away as fast as he could, wanting to escape from there as quickly, like a little kid would do when seeing their crush. Remembering about that presentation and how late he was already, he started running. That was how the first and most cliché encounter with the man finished.

The second time he saw the beautiful man was a couple of days later. He went to the café in their office building with Nino. The moment Sho came in, his eyes landed on the man, who was sitting on a table by the window with two other people and drinking lazily a cup of tea. The first thing that came to Sho's mind was that he was going crazy. He hadn't stopped thinking about that man since their encounter at the station, and now he was even seeing the man at their office's café.

Nevertheless, Nino, his colleague and friend since he started working at the company, proved him it wasn't just his mind playing games with him. Nino was a petit man with a sharp tongue and even sharper observation skills, and so he didn’t lose a second noticing where Sho’s attention was.

“Matsumoto Jun.”

“What?” asked Sho, looking back at his friend, confusion written all over his face.

“The guy you were staring at like a creep. His name is Matsumoto Jun. He is Aiba-chan’s boss.” 

Aiba Masaki, a tall and easygoing guy, was the only friend apart from Nino that Sho had at the company. Learning that his crush was Aiba’s boss meant that Sho would be able to gather more information and, maybe, even be able to see him up close again.

The rest of their time in the café was spent with Sho trying to keep a conversation while stealing glances at the not-completely-stranger-anymore man, and of course Nino kept the whole time giving him a knowing look.

A little over a year had passed since that day in the café. Sho had learnt a few things about the man since then: hard working, perfectionist, the terror of those under him that lacked on professionalism… The more Sho knew, the more checks on Sho’s ideal partner list he got. He had to thank Aiba for the insight into the man, although Aiba himself had no idea of Sho's interest in Matsumoto. He just happened to be Matsumoto's secretary and so he only talked about the man as any other worker would do about his boss. It wasn’t either as if Sho was gossiping. Not at all. He just happened to be paying a little bit more attention every time the name Matsumoto was pronounce in his presence.

Sho was thinking of all that while walking a few steps behind Matsumoto with a fond smile on his face. In the past year, he had become a professional at following Matsumoto without being noticed, always keeping a safe distance.

By the time Sho got to his desk, he was still thinking about Matsumoto Jun and his broad shoulders, his slim hips, his perfect ass, his elegant and graceful way of walking… Following Matsumoto on the way to work every morning, along with the fact that he was gay, were Sho's biggest secrets. Sho wouldn't call it stalking since he just happened to go in the same direction Matsumoto was going, so there should be nothing wrong with that, right? The part of him being gay wasn't that secret as Nino did know; the part about following Matsumoto every morning, Sho hoped that it was still a real secret.

“Daydreaming during working hours, Sho-chan?”

Sho looked up to find Nino smirking at him with his head resting in his hands. He was sitting on the other side of Sho’s desk, a smug smile on his face.

Sho, annoyed at being caught, sighed and looked at his computer screen as he started typing on some report. “What do you want, Nino?”

“There, there, Sho chan. Why so unfriendly this morning? Did you wake up on the wrong side of the bed?” Sho didn’t answer and Nino kept talking. “I’m here to bring you a message,” Nino said, deciding not to tease his friend and colleague anymore. “My dear Ohchan has asked me to call you to meet him at the 26th floor, at Matsumoto Jun san’s office”.

Sho’s hands stopped suddenly over the keyboard, his whole body petrified and eyes wide. It wasn’t the casual use of their boss's name, Ohno Satoshi, what caused such an impression on him. He was already quite used to Nino’s use of the pet name. It seemed that being Ohno’s secretary for five years had built a close relationship between employee and employer.

No, that was not what called Sho’s attention and made him forget how to breathe for a whole 20 seconds. It was the name mentioned right after, the same name that haunted his dreams.

Nino could not but smirk knowingly at the scene in front of him. He could have just sent Sho an email or called, but that would have kept him away from the fun.

“Did he say what’s the matter?” Sho asked after coughing a bit and regaining his composure.

“Guess you’ll have to find that out on your own.”

By the time Sho came out of the lift on the 26th floor, his hands were sweating uncontrollably. He breathed deeply on his way through the corridor, trying to calm his nerves.

“Good morning, Aiba kun,” Sho greeted.

“Yo, Sho chan! You can come in; they are waiting for you inside.”

Sho opened the door and found his boss sat on a chair in front of Matsumoto’s desk. Matsumoto was comfortably sat on his swivel chair, laughing at something Ohno just said.

“Oh, Sho san, thank you for coming so quickly. Please, come inside,” Ohno said while getting up. “Do you know Matsumoto san?”

That was a nice question. Of course, he couldn’t say that he followed the man every single morning from Monday to Friday on the way to work, or that he would listen with his full attention every time his name came out from Aiba's mouth. But Matsumoto saved him by getting up and extending his hand towards him with the most handsome and cool smile Sho had ever seen. “Nice to meet you, Sakurai san. I’m Matsumoto Jun. Please take a seat.”

Sho shook the man’s hand, putting on his most charming smile, the one he uses when doing business.

“We have called you here because we have a favor to ask from you,” Matsumoto started. “Ohno san here and myself were supposed to go on a work trip to Hong Kong next week to finish sealing the accord our departments have been working on for the last month." 

"Unfortunately, there are some issues that require me here, so I won’t be able to go”. Ohno commented.

“And that’s where you come in. Ohno san has recommended that you should come with me in his stead. He said you are more than capable of doing this job perfectly."

"Me?" Sho couldn't keep the surprise from his face.

"You have been working on this accord and know every part of it. Your job will be to accompany Matsumoto san and help him in everything he needs to get that accord signed."

"So, what do you say, Sakurai san? Are you in?” Matsumoto asked looking at Sho directly in the eyes with a challenging expression, as if daring him to say the opposite.

Sho would have rolled his eyes if it wasn’t because Matsumoto was his superior, although not directly. There was no need for such dramatism, it wasn’t as if he could refuse when it was a request coming from his boss. Neither would he have refused to go on a trip with the man that had been driving him crazy for a year already, even if said trip was a business one.

And that is how one week later Sho found himself in a plane towards Hong Kong with Matsumoto Jun sitting by his side. He couldn’t believe his luck as he looked at the man lovingly. Matsumoto had fallen asleep with his head resting on Sho’s sloping shoulder. He was wearing a mask and his fringe covered his eyes a little bit. His wonderful long eyelashes in full display for Sho to admire, and his scent, a mix of perfume and natural smell, was driving him crazy by the minute. Incredibly lucky, definitely.

Sho let out a happy sigh and closed his eyes as he started replaying in his mind that moment three hours earlier, when he arrived at the airport and saw Matsumoto already waiting for him by the security clearance gates.

Matsumoto was wearing casual clothes, as the meetings wouldn't start until the afternoon. It was such a change from the usual suits Sho was so used to see him in, that he almost (almost) didn't recognize him. It didn't help that Matsumoto had his hood on and was wearing glasses. Nevertheless, it was still an impressive sight even when what he was wearing was just a black tracksuit. It seemed that Matsumoto liked to fly comfortably, and that he was incredibly beautiful no matter what he was wearing.

Sho greeted him with a small bow. It was amazing how well he had been able to pretend normality both in Matsumoto office and then at the airport, when he was actually feeling quite nervous. 

The glasses Matsumoto was wearing, along with the almost shy smile he greeted Sho with, made Sho feel weak on the knees. How could someone make him lose himself so much?

"Sakurai san, wake up, we are about to land." Sho woke up suddenly to someone touching his shoulder. He opened his eyes and was greeted by the sight of the same face he was dreaming about, staring at him from a close distance. He couldn't help but blush as he sat back straight again, faking a cough to hide the redness on his face. Luckily, Matsumoto was already back in his seat, looking out at the view from his window.

///

The way to the hotel was really quick, or so it seemed to Sho. They spent the whole journey going back over the schedule for that afternoon. That would mark how things would go for the following days, so having every little detail in check was really important. 

“We will meet here at 15:00 to grab a taxi,” Matsumoto was explaining to him as they made their way to the lifts after checking in. “Please don’t be late, we can’t afford any mistake and that includes…” his voice trailed off as the doors opened. Sho look questioningly at Matsumoto, who had gone completely stiff and was staring right in front of him with his eyes wide. Confused at the sudden change, Sho followed Matsumoto’s gaze and saw two men holding hands and looking lovingly at each other. “Toma.” Sho heard Matsumoto whisper. Right at that moment, one of the two men looked in their direction, his expression changing to one of surprise. He walked up to them, bringing the other man with him.

Matsumoto, who seemed to have composed himself already, moved to meet them in the middle. Sho followed suit, setting himself by Matsumoto’s side but a step behind in order to give the man some privacy.

“Jun. Long time no see. How are you?” The guy, whose name seemed to be Toma, said. He had a really beautiful face, one that would make Sho stare shamelessly at him if they had met anywhere else and in other circumstances.

“Ikuta kun." Matsumoto bowed his head respectfully. “I’m fine, thank you. I wasn’t expecting to find you here.” From his position and role as observer, Sho could notice the little, almost imperceptible tremble of Matsumoto’s fingers, as if it was some kind of nervous tic that he could not control.

"Neither did I. I see that you came here with your boyfriend". Wait, what? Sho almost choked on his own saliva.

"Boyfriend?" Matsumoto looked back at Sho, seemingly just remembering that Sho was there. 

"Oh, boyfriend," Matsumoto said, still looking at Sho. "Yeah, we just arrived," As he was saying those last words, he put his arm around Sho's middle and pulled him to his side. Sho was so shocked that he couldn't do anything but stare at Matsumoto’s face. Matsumoto threw him a quick look that told him to play along.

Sho immediately composed himself and bowed a little in respect. "Sakurai Sho, nice to meet you."

"Ikuta Toma, nice to meet you too. This is my boyfriend, Oguri Shun." Toma said, signaling at his companion with an open hand. Oguri bowed his head too. “Are you in the city for holidays?”

“Yes, we are. Actually, we just got here from the airport. If you would excuse us, I think it is better for us to go upstairs and rest for a while as we are quite tired,” Matsumoto replied, cutting the conversation short.

“Oh, yeah, sure. Well, I guess we’ll see each other around. It was really nice to see you again, Jun san”.

They got into the lift in complete silence. The tension coming from Matsumoto was such that Sho was even scared of breathing too loudly. When the doors opened again at their floor, Matsumoto hastily told Sho to follow him before he could go to his own room.

Matsumoto sat on his bed with a heavy sigh, his hands covering his face. "I'm really sorry," He finally said a couple of minutes later, looking up at Sho, who was still standing close to the door. 

“It’s okay.”

Matsumoto looked at the wall in front of him as he started speaking again. "Ikuta kun was my boyfriend..."

"Matsumoto San..."

"...back when we were in college," Matsumoto continued, not minding Sho's interruption. "He was a year younger than me and we dated for three years. We broke up after I caught him in bed with Oguri san."

"Matsumoto san, you really don't have to give me any explanations." Sho had already gotten the first part from the tense talk and Matsumoto's reactions, but still there was no need for the man to tell him all this. It was his private life, and Sho a virtual stranger. He had to admit that learning that Matsumoto used to have a boyfriend before was a nice surprise and got his hopes up. Nevertheless, Sho was feeling quite uncomfortable not knowing how he should react or what to say. Should he reciprocate the trust Matsumoto had put on him by coming out to him? Should he say nothing? In the end, he just stayed silent, not finding any real reason to say anything.

"I know that I don't have to give you any explanations about my personal life, but I still want to and feel that I have to. I'm really sorry that I used you to lie to my ex. That was completely uncalled for." 

"It's okay, I don't mind". Yeah, Sho definitely didn't mind at all. Well, he would have preferred for it to be true if he could choose.

"I just… Please, forget about it. Let's continue with what we came to do here.” Matsumoto breathed deeply again. “I expect you at 3 in the hotel’s lobby". It was curious how the man could change so quickly from a vulnerable man who had just found his ex-boyfriend all lovey-dovey with the guy he cheated on with, to a professional and cool businessman.

Sho just bowed his head and said his goodbyes respectfully. Just as he got his hand on the door's handle, he heard his name being called from inside the room. "Sakurai san. Just one last thing. I really would appreciate your discretion." Sho answered with a last look at Matsumoto and a firm nod.

On the way to his room, and even later on inside as he relaxed on his bed, Sho couldn't stop thinking about the way Matsumoto had looked back in his room and how it must have felt for him to find Ikuta and Oguri unannounced, with him still wearing his tracksuit and glasses. Not that Sho thought that Matsumoto looked bad, the tracksuit suit him quite well, but compared to his ex, he was kind of underdressed at the moment, and Sho could imagine that wasn't ideal. And if that hadn't been enough, Matsumoto had to use his coworker, whom he had just gotten acquainted with before the trip, to make up a lie on the spot, and then he had to reveal a huge part of his personal life. Not a really good start for the day for Matsumoto Jun.

When they met each other again in the afternoon, they acted as they had agreed on and pretended that that morning didn’t happen. They went to the office building where they were supposed to have their meeting. However, bad news were expecting them just as they got past the front door.

"What do you mean Mr. Lee is not part of this agreement anymore?" Matsumoto asked in complete confusion and perfect English. 

"I mean exactly that. Due to private matters he had to step down and now I'm the one in charge of this operation," Ms. Wang, a young woman with a round face, who was already waiting for the both of them downstairs, answered. "As I'll be the one taking care of everything, I will need to check what has been done until now. I would also like to give you my feedback and make changes if I find it necessary."

“Why weren’t we notified of this before coming? Revising all the documents and making changes may take us a whole month!”

“I deeply apologize for the short notice, but I didn't know either until this morning. However, I promise to work side by side with the both of you to come up with an agreement that both parties are happy with.”

Matsumoto and Sho could do nothing but agree. In the end, they were the ones who had more at stake. They would have to wait and negotiate everything again and do whatever was needed if the situation asked for it, even if that meant prolonging their stay for three weeks longer than they had planned.

The rest of the meeting went surprisingly smooth. Although the first impression hadn't been the best one, Ms. Wang proved to be a really kind and professional woman, which made their work easier. They spent the whole afternoon with her, explaining what had been done and agreed on until then. Matsumoto did most of the talking as Sho, who was supposed to be representing his boss, was there more as an assistant than anything else.

Talking about Matsumoto… Sho was completely charmed by the man's working demeanor. It was like looking at a tennis match between two professional players. The way he handled Ms. Wang was remarkable. Just the perfect amount of charm and charisma to gain respect, but not come off as an ass kisser. Ms Wang would answer just in the same way, equaling Matsumoto’s business aptitudes. No wonder both of them had gotten to important positions at such a young age.

They ended their meeting promising to meet again in the next morning. On the way back to the hotel, and also much later, after having dinner in the nice nearby restaurant that he had looked for when he was still in Japan, Sho couldn't stop thinking about how cool the both of them had been and how Matsumoto only became more attractive the more he learnt about him. It seemed like that day there was only one person in his mind. Despite being a grown man, he felt the same way he did back when he was 15 years old and fell in love for the first time.

The more he thought about it, the more convinced he was that it would be impossible for a man like Matsumoto to even look his way.

The next few days were spent in the same fashion. Sho would meet Matsumoto in the early morning and they would go together to the office. There they would meet with Ms. Wang or just work by themselves in a meeting room that was adapted as a provisional office for them.

Friday evening, however, brought a change for Sho’s new routine. He was already back in his room, checking all his perfectly organized sightseeing plans for the weekend, when someone knocked on his door. He went to open, to find none other than Matsumoto standing there. 

"Can I come in for a second?"

Sho moved aside to let him in, a frown of confusion on his face. "Did anything happen with the reports that we prepared today? Did Ms. Wang find something wrong?" He asked while taking a quick look around and sighing in relief after seeing that the room still looked like a room and not a mess of clothes and things. The only proof of his stay there were the papers and computer on the table, where he was planning his weekend activities, and the half open suitcase in the corner.

"No, no, everything is perfect. I… it's just… I'm really sorry for disturbing you during your free time, Sakurai san, and coming to your room uninvited."

"It's okay, you are not disturbing anything. Please take a seat. Do you want anything to drink?" 

"No, no, thank you. I won't stay for long. I actually came because I want to ask for you help." It was then, as Matsumoto sat and failed to do it with his usual elegance, that Sho noted that he was a little bit drunk. Sho just nodded to show that he was listening. Matsumoto passed a hand over his hair, messing it a bit in the process and exalted noisily. "I… do you remember Ikuta Toma? The man we met the morning we arrived." 

Another nod. 

"I actually happened to meet him again tonight when I went to the hotel's bar for a drink. We started talking and he was all about forgetting the past and starting anew… and what could I say? If I told him not to talk to me, I would have come off as someone who can't forgive, especially after so many years… And as I had told him that you and I are a thing, he ended up inviting the both of us to visit some tourist attractions with him and Oguri san. Something like a double date, I guess."  
"Oh." This really was not what Sho was expecting when he opened the door. 

"I completely understand if you don't feel comfortable with the idea and don't want to do it..."

"I'll do it."

“... of course you are in your complete right. I don’t know why I’m even asking this from you…”

“Matsumoto san.”

“...I should have said that you were busy. Yeah, that’s what I should have done, or just tell him the truth...”

“Matsumoto san!” Sho said, walking up to Matsumoto, who had gotten up and was pacing around the room, too caught up on his own rambling to hear anything Sho said. And then, Sho grabbed him by his arm. “I said I’ll do it”.

“You will?” Matsumoto blinked twice. “But won’t it be too uncomfortable for you? I mean, we don’t actually know each other and you don’t even like men.”

“I-I do like men, and it’s not as we have to do anything. We just have to go with them as four adults hanging out together. No need for holding hands or... kissing.” 

Both of them blushed and looked away at the last word.

“I-Thank you so much for your help, Sakurai san.” Matsumoto bowed deeply.

“Sho.”

“Eh?”

“That’s my first name. If we are gonna pretend to be together, we should call each other by our first names.”

“You are right. In that case, thank you, Sho san, and please call me Jun.”

Sho blushed as he heard his name from Matsumoto’s, no, Jun’s mouth.

“Okay, Jun san.” Both men fell in an uncomfortable silence after that.

“So,” Sho cleared his throat before speaking up again. “What’s the plan then?”

“Oh, yeah. We don’t really have a plan. Toma proposed to meet tomorrow after lunch, but we didn’t decide where to go. He said that you and I should choose.”  
“I have some planning done for tomorrow that we can follow.”

“That would be amazing. Thank you so much for everything you are doing.”

That night was spent with the both of them talking until dawn. They decided to come up with a story on how they met and became a couple, as well as basic information they should know about each other. This is how Sho discovered that Jun graduated from Waseda, where he met and started dating Toma on his second year, and started working in their company right after graduation. He escalated quickly, eventually becoming one of the youngest heads of division. On a more personal level, he has an older sister, with whom he is really close, his parents own a farm, and he was born on August 30th, 1983, which means he is two years younger than Sho. On his free time, he likes listening to music and watching concerts, and he's a big fan of The Beatles and Michael Jackson. He enjoys cooking and has a special spot in his heart for his little babies, his bonsais. That last piece of information almost made Sho melt at how cute Matsumoto could be.

Sho reciprocates by sharing some personal information. He tells Matsumoto that he is the older of three siblings, having a younger sister and a younger brother, that his father is a high ranked politician and his mother a university professor, and he went to Keio to study Economics just like his father and grandfather did before him. He didn’t comment on the pressure all of this meant for him; Jun was smart enough to guess it without him mentioning it. He admitted his love for rap music, which made Jun start giggling in the cutest way possible. Sho decided in that moment that that was his favourite facial expression on Jun.

What Sho didn’t say, however, was how he programmed his whole day down to the minute, or how at peace and secure this made him feel, or how messy his whole apartment was, or how he would buy snow globes in every country he visited... 

Still, Sho discovered that night how easy it was to talk to Jun. They ended up talking about everything and nothing in particular at the same time. By the next morning, he was completely sure that it wasn’t a simple crush on a man he followed everyday on his way to work.

The four men met at 14:00 as it was planned. Sho had prepared a route through Hong Kong Island. First, they would go to The Peak, to admire the view of the city from there; later on, they would go for a walk around Central and take a ride in the Observation Wheel. The night would finish with dinner at a high class dim sum restaurant, with a great view of Victoria Harbour’s light show at 20:00. Just a perfect plan that would take them around some really beautiful places, as well as keep them from having to talk all the time. Sho was sure that walking and visiting places would be a good way of lighting up the atmosphere and make Jun relax.

It took a while for Jun to get comfortable. It wasn’t until they got to the Peak that he lost his business smile, the one that Sho already knew so well from seeing him at work, and the grin that he had shown Sho the night before made its appearance. The view of the city from there was breathtaking. Jun was fascinated, taking pictures of the skyscrapers. It was impossible for Sho not to pay more attention to how happy Jun looked than the city view.

“Oh, Ikuta kun. Do you mind taking our picture?” Jun asked, handing the camera. Sho suddenly felt an arm around his waist and a warm body pressing against his side. He gave Jun a surprised look as the sound of a shutter was heard. 

Maybe, if Sho hadn’t been so dumbfounded by Jun so close to him, he might have noticed the serious look on Ikuta’s face while taking the picture.

“So, how did the two of you met?” The question that they had feared and prepared for finally came as they were having dinner. Sho stayed petrified with his chopsticks halfway to his mouth, that at that moment was filled with xiaolongbao. 

Jun sipped leisurely from his cup of tea to gain a little bit of time before answering. “It was during a work trip, two years ago.” He started explaining the story both of them had come up with the night before. “Sho san and I work for the same company and had to come here together to close a contract with a future filial.” They had decided to go with their own actual circumstances to make it seem more real and natural for them. In every lie there’s always some truth, isn’t it? “We boned during the trip and by the time we came back to Japan, we decided to start dating each other.”

“Eeeh. Is that why you decided to come here on holidays now?”

“Yes, we really needed the holidays as work has kept us apart lately. We both have just finished some important projects, so we decided to take a month-long holiday and get away from Tokyo. Hong Kong just seemed like the natural place to come to.” Sho finished, having regained his composure and swallowed all the food in his mouth.

“That’s a really cute story, but isn’t it hard to work in the same company as your lover?” Oguri asked, keeping the conversation running.

“We do work in the same company but in different departments, so we don't really see each other during work hours. Jun is the head of his department, while I work for another. When the trip where we met took place, it was my boss and not me the one that was supposed to come with him in the first place. He was not able to make it, so he asked me to come in his place.”

“Eeh… so I guess you already know the city. I’m really sorry we made you go again through the touristic places.”

“Oh, no, no. please don’t be. Actually, when we came here before, we didn’t have much time to visit any places other than the office we were working at. Besides, I really love planning trips, so it isn’t any trouble at all for me.”

Jun kept eating and looking down at his plate as Sho spoke. Sho noticed how Ikuta, who had been silent for a while now, kept staring at Jun. 

“So… What are the two of you here for? Are you on holidays too?” Sho asked quickly in an attempt to turn the focus away from them.

“Well, we are moving to the city. Toma has been offered a job in a really important studio here. We are currently trying to find a flat. Toma will start living there as soon as we find it, and I´ll move in six months as still have to take care of some matters before coming here.”

Sho felt how Jun tensed up at his side after this last piece of information, his body stiffening and his breath hitching at the mention of the studio. The night before, he had explained to Sho how Ikuta and him had met at the photography club in Waseda. 

Feeling Jun's discomfort, and guilty for prompting, in a way, the cause for his discomfort, Sho quickly changed topics by asking them how their stay in the city had been so far and other small talk safe topics. Not missing Sho’s attitude and motive, Jun flashed him a grateful smile. Sho got bold and answered him with a wink, making sure the other two weren’t looking when he did so. The rest of the dinner went on with a nice atmosphere. By the time they parted ways after the light show, they had decided on meeting again soon. It really had gone better than Sho expected, and he was quite sure that given some time and the opportunity for it, the four of them could end up becoming really good friends. 

///

"Thank you, Sho san." Sho looked at Jun. They were on the lift, on their way to their rooms. Jun had his eyes fixed on his reflection on the elevator doors. "I know that we just met, but you really made me feel at ease during the whole afternoon." He finally looked at Sho as the doors opened. "It means the whole world what you are doing for me. Good night. And don't forget, Monday at 8 o'clock in the lobby," he added as an afterthought. With that, he got off the lift and went to his room, leaving behind a stupidly smiling Sho.

Although Sho and Jun didn’t meet for the rest of the weekend, when the new week started the change between them was noticeable. Jun was now acting in a more natural way around Sho, who couldn’t be happier that he got to see Jun’s carefree smile more often. All this time he had thought of Jun as cool and distant, but he was discovering how cute he is.

Furthermore, they had started a new routine of Jun inviting Sho for a cup of tea everyday after work as a thanks for his help with Ikuta and Oguri. The good nature of their relationship made things flow better on work-related matters too.

When Jun tells him on Thursday morning about going to a club together on Friday night at Central, it feels like the most natural thing in the world, the awkwardness of the first time Jun asked him to pretend to be his boyfriend completely forgotten.

However, what Sho wasn’t at all prepared for was to see Jun in his clubbing outfit. He almost started drooling at the sight in front of him when Jun opened the door of his room.

“What’s wrong? It doesn’t look good, does it? I knew it wasn’t okay, I should go get changed.” Jun said after seeing Sho’s gaping mouth and turning around in the direction of the bed, completely covered with clothes.

“No! No, no, i-it is perfect. Really. You look perfect.” Sho blushed and said the last part in almost a whisper. You are perfect, he thought but thankfully didn’t say.  
“You sure?” Jun looked at himself in the mirror, trying on a different jacket.

“Completely.” Sho couldn’t believe he even had a doubt about it. The skinny jeans Jun was wearing were hugging his legs perfectly and the purple t-shirt left his collarbones half on display, making Sho want to rip it out just so he could see all of Jun's chest. He couldn’t prevent the beginning of an erection to form inside his pants as Jun bent down to retrieve his wallet from between the pile of clothes. This really was going to be a difficult night for Sho’s heart if things kept going that way.

Ikuta and Oguri were already at the club when they got there, waiting for them. The atmosphere was way lighter than the last time. The four of them fell in a comfortable conversation as they drank on their beers. They were on their third beer when Oguri asked Jun for a dance, and Jun accepted without thinking it twice.  
Jun really was a natural at dancing, his hips immediately following the rhythm, his elasticity and grace visible in every movement. Just how much more perfect could he get?

“You are completely crazy about him, aren’t you?”

“Hum?”

Toma chuckled. “You have written all over your face that you are completely in love with him. It is great that after two years you still have the look of someone who is head over heels for his lover. As if you just met and were falling in love for the first time."

Sho felt all the air leaving his lungs. "Yeah…" he just said and quickly downed the rest of his beer. Trying to escape the conversation, he got up and told Ikuta that it was time he claimed his boyfriend back. Then he went to find Jun on the dance floor.

Seen him coming, Oguri smiled at Sho and put some distance between Jun and him before finally walking back to the table.

"Is there anything wrong? You don't look good." Jun asked in concern as he put his hands on Sho's hips. Sho settled his arms around Jun's neck as they danced.

"It's nothing." Seeing Jun's suspicious look and that he wasn’t buying it, Sho added: "I think Ikuta kun suspects something."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know… It’s just.... We were talking and he kinda made a weird comment. Maybe it's just me."

"Well, maybe… but just in case, I think we should prove him wrong."

Sho had no time to ask what he meant. Without warning, Jun pulled him closer. Their faces were almost touching and Jun's eyes stared directly into his.

Sho has no idea how much time went on before someone moved or who was the first. All he knows is that, suddenly, he and Jun were kissing. It started with small short kisses, but it quickly escalated to longer and more passionate ones. Their bodies were pressed impossibly close and their hands roaming all over each other.  
“I think we should stop here,” Jun said, gasping, his forehead against Sho's.

“Yeah... yeah…” Sho nodded and put some distance between him and Jun. No matter how attracted he felt, Jun still was his boss in some way and they were just pretending to be together. That didn’t mean that Jun felt anything for Sho. 

They didn’t stay for much longer after that, not wanting to leave just right after, but neither of them finding much reason to stay for too long. Half an hour later, they said their goodbyes and took a taxi together. The whole way back was spent with them stealing glances at each other when they thought the other wasn't looking. 

When Sho got to his room, he was breathing heavily, fingers touching his lips as he tried to put together everything that had happened that night. They had kissed! He had kissed Matsumoto Jun and it had felt so good and so right… The problem, however, was that he wasn't sure which were Jun's motives. Did the man just do it for them not to be discovered? Did he do it because he was drunk? Was he even attracted to Sho? 

He tried to push those thoughts aside. Jun was the only one with the answers for his questions. With that in mind he decided to take a shower and go to bed; act as if nothing had happened. Yet, as he got under the water the memory of Jun's body pressed against his while they were kissing, came back in full force. Sho was feeling warn all over and resisting the temptation of touching himself was proving to be really difficult. 

His hand reached down to clean himself and he couldn’t avoid a moan as his hand brushed his dick. He coated a finger with shower gel and put it inside his hole. His forehead resting on the shower wall, he started touching his dick with his left hand at the same time as the finger in his hole. Water falling down on his body, eyes closed and teeth biting on his lip, it didn't take him long to cum from the memory of what had happened earlier at the club.

///

On Monday morning, they acted just as professionally as usual, but something had changed between them. These changes were small, so subtle that it wouldn't be noticeable to outsiders, but there was definitely something different. Their fingers would linger more than necessary when passing each other a cup of coffee, or they'd exchange stares for longer than what would be considered normal for two colleagues, or their legs would touch under the table without any of them daring to move away, or they would get too close when asking the other about something written on a report… It wasn't anything big, but the two of them were aware of it. 

Even though Sho was finding increasingly difficult not to kiss Jun every time they were in the same space, their second kiss didn't happen until the following day. And it was in a really innocent way. Sho had gone to Jun's room in order to revise and finish some reports they needed to have ready for Ms. Wang the next day. 

They had just finished and were collecting their things to say good night, when Sho made a really stupid old man joke that made Jun laugh with his mouth wide open, the way Sho loved so much. Sho fell completely silent, and not being able to resist anymore, he kissed Jun. 

It took a few seconds for Jun to answer to the kiss, too caught by surprise. They kissed slowly, without any sort of rush. It wasn’t as if they were needed somewhere else or someone may disturb them.

Sho was the first one to start unbuttoning Jun’s shirt. He caressed Jun's chest and abdomen as they became visible while Jun sucked on his neck, making Sho moan in pleasure. 

Sho helped Jun take off his shirt, and Jun did the same for him. They got back to kissing immediately, unable to stay away for longer than two seconds.  
"You know, you have a really nice ass. It's really distracting." Jun said as he grabbed Sho's butt. 

Sho chuckled. "Well, I could say the same thing about you whole body." He accompanied his statement pinching Jun's nipples. The moan that came out from Jun's mouth was something Sho really would keep in mind the next time he found himself alone in his bed or shower.

It didn't take long after that for them to fall on the bed, completely naked, and for Jun to start preparing Sho with obvious impatience but still doing it kindly, not wanting to hurt Sho. 

They ended up doing it twice that night. Sho couldn't remember the last time he had so much fun in bed with someone. Well, to be fair, he almost couldn’t remember when was the last time he had sex with anyone.

The following morning had Sho waking up feeling cold. Looking on his left, he was rewarded with the sight of Jun sleeping soundly, wrapped in the blankets as if forming a cocoon. Even if it was Jun’s fault that he woke up because of the cold, he couldn’t prevent a smile forming in his lips at the sight of Jun's sleeping form.  
That morning also brought to light a new facet of Jun he didn't know before. Don't try to deal with Jun before he had his first cup of coffee. Sho didn't mind the unfriendliness, really. Besides, Jun compensated him greatly after breakfast, with a wonderful blowjob that had Sho smiling like an idiot for the rest of the day.  
It was soon clear that neither of them thought about the previous night and that morning as a one-time thing. Jun started doing things such as shyly holding Sho's hand when they were alone on a lift or no-one was looking, a gesture that Sho answered by kissing Jun lightly and quickly on the cheek or the lips. The sheepish smile and blush that appeared on Jun's face every time Sho did it was more than worth taking the risk of being caught.

For the next two weeks, Sho abandoned his own room in favour of sleeping in Jun’s. Going to bed and waking up with Jun by his side became the most normal him in the world for him. Just a month earlier, he was afraid of even looking at Jun. Who would have thought that the man he used to stalk would end up sharing his bed like this?

Even if everything seemed perfect, Sho had his doubts regarding the nature of their relationship. He was scared that Jun may forget about him the moment they stepped back in Tokyo, that once they left Hong Kong the spell would be broken. 

The idea terrified him, and he tried to push it away whenever he was with Jun. But even if they shared the same bed every night, he couldn’t shake off the feeling that maybe Jun was just doing it out of pity or to thank Sho for helping him.

Whatever way it was, Sho wanted to find the answer, and the moment for it was looming closer. That week was the last of their month-long business trip. The contract would finally be signed on Friday and they would leave on Saturday afternoon. They would have dinner at Ikuta and Oguri’s new place on Friday evening, to celebrate both the purchasing of the flat and the signing of the contract. Not that Jun and Sho would tell so to the other two, they were still supposed to be there as a couple in holidays and not two coworkers on a bussines trip. It would be a nice way to say their goodbyes until the next time they met.

The only opportunity Sho would have to clarify things would be after dinner. He was planning on telling Jun to go on a walk after leaving the flat. He would take advantage of the romantic atmosphere, with the beautiful night lights of the skyscrapers on the other side of the shore, to ask Jun to continue seeing each other back in Tokyo, this time for real. 

The plan was perfect, and if everything went well, Jun would say yes and, ironically, the story of how they got together that they told Ikuta and Oguri would become true.

However, Sho didn’t have the opportunity to put his plan into action as someone else was faster than him.

They arrived just on time. The bottle of wine they had purchased on their way was firmly held in Jun’s hand. Oguri was the one in charge of opening the door for them and welcome them inside.

“Where can I leave this?” Jun asked, lifting up the bottle in question.

“Oh, thank you very much for the wine. You really didn’t have to bring anything.” Oguri answered politely. “You can just give it to Toma. He is in the kitchen, putting the final touches on the food.” 

Jun made his way to the kitchen as Sho stayed behind answering Oguri’s questions regarding their depart the following day.

"Excuse me, Oguri kun. Could you tell me where is the bathroom? I would like to wash my hands before dinner is served," Sho asked after a while.

"Sure, of course. Just down the hall, third door on your left."

On his way there, Sho had to walk past the kitchen. He definitely wasn’t expecting to hear the words Toma said as he was passing by.

“…I still love you, Jun. If you are willing to take me back, I promise I will leave him. Losing you was the worst thing that ever happened to me.” 

Sho felt as if someone had stabbed him on the chest. His body acted on its own as he got closer to the door to hear better and see what was happening inside without being caught.

From his point of view, he could only see them in profile. Jun was against the kitchen counter, and Toma’s body too close to Jun for Sho’s liking.

“Please, Jun, let’s get back together.” Toma crossed the short distance between them and kissed Jun, his hands holding Jun’s face in place.

Sho couldn’t take it anymore, neither he wanted to see what else happened. He continued his way to the bathroom to wash his hands, trying as hard as he could to push the scene he had just witnessed to the back of his mind. He breathed deeply to calm his nerves in front of the mirror, looking at his reflection. His face looked horrible and his hands were trembling as his knuckles turned white with the force he was using to hold the counter. He went out five minutes later.

The tension on the table was palpable, or maybe it was just Sho the one being tense. Jun smiled at him as he took his seat by his side. “You okay? You were there for quite a while and don’t look very well.” Jun asked in concern. Well, who knew if it was true concern or just for show.

“Yeah, everything’s perfect.” Sho answered, not daring to look Jun’s way and with his sight fixed on the food in front of him.

He didn’t partake in conversation much during dinner, only replying with a hum or a short answer when directly addressed. He could feel Jun’s eyes on him the whole night. They said their goodbyes to the couple and promised to keep in touch, to meet again back in Tokyo some day whenever Ikuta and Oguri stopped by the city.   
Even during the way back to the hotel in the taxi, Sho could feel Jun’s eyes on him as he looked out from the window. Jun’s patience seemed to reach an end by the time they got out of the lift at their floor. He took Sho by the elbow before Sho could say good night and run away to his room. 

“Are you really okay? You have been awfully silent the whole evening.”

“Yes, I am. I’m just a little bit tired. Now that the contract is finally signed, I feel as though all the exhaustion from the whole month was coming at once.” The lied tasted bitter in his tongue as he said it, looking at Jun directly in the eye. He could perfectly see in Jun’s face that he wasn’t buying any of it. Even so, Jun let go of his elbow with a soft “Okay, as you wish. Good night, Sho san.” 

They went separate ways for the first time in the past two weeks. They still had to prepare their luggage for the following day.

He didn’t see Jun again until the following morning at the airport. No, he wasn’t Jun anymore, he was Matsumoto san now that the month was over and reality was catching up again with Sho. Jun was back with Ikuta, and Sho had to forget about him. It couldn’t be that difficult, right? 

He somehow managed to avoid taking the same taxi on the way to the airport. He knew that was really immature from him and that a taxi ride with Jun wouldn’t kill him, but he just didn't want to spend more time with Jun than what was absolutely necessary.

During the whole flight, he pretended to be asleep to avoid having to look at Jun or making conversation. He knew that Matsumoto was looking at the him the whole time, but the music in his headphones helped him keep his mind away.

He didn’t hear much from Jun after saying goodbye at the airport. Jun seemed to understand perfectly the signals and only tried to contact Sho twice by phone call. Calls that Sho neither answered, nor returned. Or maybe it was that Jun was now back with Ikuta, happily enjoying his second chance with his love from university, and had forgotten about what happened between them in Hong Kong.

Whatever the case, Sho preferred not to know. It had only been a month. A dream-like month, spent in the company of a crush that would never be more than that. But that wasn't a long time, so it shouldn't be that difficult to forget everything about it.

Trying to forget and continue with his life before Hong Kong, Sho started working like crazy. He did not even follow Jun every morning anymore. He had adjusted his schedule to take the train before the one he used to take, trying to lower his chances of meeting Jun as much as possible.

Of course, the change in Sho's attitude after the trip didn't fool anyone, especially Nino. Whenever they went for a coffee with Aiba, Sho would tense up at the mention of Matsumoto’s name. It was ridiculous how just hearing his name would immediately bring back so many memories. Jun's voice, Jun's smile, Jun's passionate talks about the book he was reading and his dear bonsais, Jun's touch, Jun's body and how it felt against Sho's…

In order to avoid feeling that way, Sho started avoiding his own friends.

///

"So, do you mind explaining to us what happened in Hong Kong that made you come back like this? And don't even try to pretend that nothing happened. You don't fool anyone, Sho chan." Nino had finally made him meet him and Aiba for some beers after two months of him declining every single invitation.

Sho gulped, trying not to show how affected he was by the sudden mention of that city's name. Nino really wasted no time, going straight to the point.

"I don't know why I should give you any explanations regarding my personal life." Sho answered defensively, not finding any reason for denying the truth.

"So something did happen." Taking Sho's silence as a yes, Nino continued. "Sho, we are your friends, and as friends we are worried about you. You don't seem your normal self, just behaving like a machine. You don't even have that daydreaming expression anymore when you arrive at the office. And you have been avoiding us." 

He decided to take that approach, not wanting Sho to feel pressured by making questions and assumptions that would only make him close up even more.

Sho asked for a whiskey and waited for it to be served before saying anything more. "Matsumoto San and I...him and I…"

"Kissed? Had sex?" Aiba asked without any kind of warning, making Sho's eyes go completely wide. "Don't look at me that way. I've been his secretary for four years already! Of course I know which are his preferences."

"And you do a worse job than you think at hiding yours. And the fact that you had, still have, a huge crush on Matsumoto san too," Nino pointed out helpfully.

Seeing that both of them already knew about his two biggest secrets, Sho started spilling the beans. He told them everything, from the moment they met Ikuta and Oguri, to the innocent invites to tea in thanks, to their first kiss, their almost second, the time when they had finally had their second kiss and first time having sex, how they somehow made a habit from sleeping together in Jun's bed… and finally, he told them about dinner with the other couple. 

"How do you know that they are now together? You didn't see anything after the kiss."

"I didn't need to, Nino. I saw how Ikuta kun kissed him and how he didn't move away."

"Maybe he did but you didn't stay long enough to see it." Nino insisted.

"No, I'm completely sure. Ju-Matsumoto san, was still in love with him, I’m positive. He just wanted me to pretend to be his boyfriend, nothing more. Guess he just had sex with me to humour me. Or maybe just out of pity."

Nino and Aiba frowned listening to that. "Sho san, I really don't think that's why he did it. Matsujun is not like that. And from what I have seen this couple of months, I’m pretty sure you got it all wrong,” Aiba said.

"No. I'm certain of what I'm saying." 

"Did he try to contact you after coming back?" Nino asked.

"Yeah."

"Then?"

"I didn't answer. Guess he just wanted to thank me for helping him get back together with his ex."

"You know, you are too stubborn for your own good," Nino finally said with an exasperated sigh.

It didn't matter how many times those two tried to make him reconsider, Sho knew what had happened and nothing they said would change anything.

It was not until a month after his talk with Nino and Aiba that Sho decided that he couldn't go any longer without seeing Jun. Trying to forget him had proved to be impossible. Almost like in an unconscious act, Sho started following again the same routine he used to follow every single morning before their trip. Seeing Jun again was something he wasn’t really prepared for but that he needed as much as water. 

Jun was still as beautiful as always, the only difference was that his hair was cut shorter and he looked way thinner. Well, Sho wasn’t one to talk, he had lost a lot of weight too and his face resembled more that of a panda than a human. How could he ever think that someone as wonderful as Matsumoto Jun would pay him any attention. 

Sho was suddenly shaken off his thoughts on Thursday morning by a hand pulling him by the collar of his shirt, his back making contact with a hard wall. Sho’s eyes went wide when he looked up. Matsumoto was looking down at him with an unreadable expression on his face. Sho was so caught up in his thoughts that he hadn't noticed Matsumoto going into an alley and just followed him without thinking.

This close, Sho could see that Jun, looked almost as exhausted as Sho did every time he looked into the mirror.

“Matsumoto san.” The name came out as a whisper. If it wasn’t because Matsumoto was so close to his face, he wouldn’t have been able to hear him.  
“Oh, cut off the crap, Sakurai!” Matsumoto roared in an angry voice.

“Pardon?” Sho blinked in confusion.

“Don’t play fool with me now Sakurai, it really doesn’t suit you.”

“...”

“First we kiss, have sex… everything seems nice and perfect. Then we get on that plane back here, and you start acting as if nothing ever happened. Back to square one. No, you actually started acting weird the night before. At that moment I just tried to push it away as you being tired. But it is pretty obvious for me now that it was your way of going away. Don’t try to deny it. What the hell is wrong with you?” Seeing that Sho didn’t answer and instead just looked at him dumbfounded, Jun continued with a humourless chuckle. “You know, I’m perfectly aware that you used to follow me everyday damn morning from the train station to work. You still do, by the way. Or just got back to doing it again this week at least.” Sho felt as all the air left his lungs, breath hitching and heart beating like crazy. “So, if you not liking me or not feeling attracted isn’t the problem, which is? Why did you start ignoring me?” Jun asked, getting even closer to Sho's face, mouths just a few centimeters away from each other.

Sho seemed to come back to his senses at that moment and looked away, pushing Jun a bit by the shoulders in order to put distance between them. “I don’t think your boyfriend would be happy if he found you in such a compromising position with another man.”

Matsumoto frowned in confusion. “Boyfriend? What the heck are you talking about?”

Sho looked back at him with an offended look on his face. “Ikuta Toma san, who else?” Was Matsumoto treating him as if he was stupid now?

“Wait, what? You think that I’m dating Toma?”

“I don’t think, I know. I saw you two in his kitchen the day before coming back.”

“Oooh, so that was it.” And then Jun dared to laugh on Sho’s face. “So tell me Sho san, what exactly did you see?” He asked while getting closer to Sho again.

“I heard he told you that he is still in love with you, and I saw the two of you kissing.”

“And…?”

“And I walked away.”

“Such a pity that you did. If not, you would have seen how I pushed him away and told him that I didn’t love him, that it was another man that I was interested in. But, what was my surprise when suddenly that man started acting as if we were complete strangers again. As if everything we shared together hadn't happened at all.”   
Sho gaped at the admission, mouth opening and closing without words coming out.

“Mmmmh… but I guess now everything makes sense, doesn’t it, Sho san? What do you think? Would that guy that started ignoring me just because of a stupid misunderstanding return my feelings if he knew what actually happened?”

“I-I think he would be thrilled by the idea." Sho answered with his eyes fixed on the moles surrounding Jun’s mouth, his voice trembling. Now that he had heard the truth, he could not help but wish to kiss Jun and hold him between his arms. 

It only took two seconds for Jun to finally capture Sho's lips with his own, the desperation obvious in both of them as they got as close as possible.

"You know, I really, really like you." Jun whispered when they got apart to take air.

"I really like you too. So, Matsumoto Jun san, would you allow me the pleasure of dating you this time for real?”

Jun chuckled in answer. "That's the cheesiest way someone has asked me out, and it comes some months later than it should have. But yes, definitely yes," he said before kissing Sho’s smug smile away.


End file.
